Changes and Desires

Its funny how when you think you have moved on in life and let the dust settle in a certain area, it never fails that some one strolls up and awakens all those feeling and emotions. No matter how much time you think you need to get over something, its never enough. I believe there are certain things in life we will never get over, we are just suppose to learn from them and not let them have power over us the way they used to. 

Recently some emotions resurfaced that I thought where buried for forever, I honestly was surprised at the feelings that came flooding back into my heart and the memories that rushed into my mind after the horrible things that where said and the damage that was done in the past. I don't fully understand how you can forgive someone over and over again and give them chance after chance hoping that something you say or something you do will soon change them, but in all reality if you are honest with yourself you know they wont ever change, sometimes you are the one afraid of the change so you keep yourself in this unhealthy situation hoping the other person will do the changing so you don't have to. 

Change can be the best feelings sometimes, it may be uncomfortable to start, but I believe once you start, change just might be addicting and what you have been searching for this whole time! 

I am not really sure what I am really trying to say.. I think I am just so surprised that even though all those emotions and memories came back to me, I had no desire to return to them, I had no desire to try to say something in hopes that the person would change so I didn't have to, for the first time I realized I am free from the emotional bondage that kept me wanting more. I am not saying that I have overcome this situation, it is possible I will have to fight this battle for the rest of my life, I just hope with the help from our Lord that I will be able to continue to have no desire to go back to that time in my life.